I am the way I am because of my past. Because i conformed to what I thought I had to be for other people. While I was being myself, I felt as if I couldn’t be all of myself. Somethings I had to hide or it would ruin a friendship. I was afraid of change in anything that I did. I wanted everything to stay the same so when my desires to do different things changed I had to hide those feelings.
Now, I have no serious attachments to friends/boyfriends/whatever so I am able to be exactly what I want to be. Not part of me and part of something I had no desire to be. By having this time to actually find what I do and don’t want to do, I am able to make those decisions now even in any kind of relationship. I am more myself now than I have ever been before.
I drove to school today, so i had about 35 minutes to myself to just think about how I am and what I want to do with myself.All of my past experiences have allowed me to be a rounded person in what I do now. But now I do what I do for myself, not to satisfy others.
xoxo
